Legends
by ValleyOfFields
Summary: Dumb satirical stuff. I'm out of ideas.
1. Giannis Antetokounmpo smokes at The Loud

**Collection of all types of shit. Hit me up with ideas. They will be more satire than anything. **

**1 -**** Giannis Antetokounmpo smokes at The Loud House**

The Grim Reapear stared at the tv with empty eyes.

"Yo, pass the joint." Death called out. Luna and Sam passed the joint to death, as he struggled to take a hit. He was taking it like a bitch.

"Yo, get this. My boy Jesus Christ said you all going to hell or some shit." Death said, kicking his scythe off the couch with his foot.

"Fuck that." Luna said, smoking out of a bowl. The fun was over when Luna's father, Lynn Sr. came out.

"Luna! Are you smoking weed with the grim reaper!?"

"Not just him, I also got that basketball player. He in the kitchen getting snacks." Luna said, hugging her girlfriend, causing Death to cringe a bit. Death threw a beer in his cloak and spat out an empty can.

"I found the chip" Giannis Antetokounmpo said, throwing a bag of chips at the grim reaper.

"This place is killing my fucking high." the Grim Reaper screamed, punching the coffee table.

"I fucking know, right?" Giannis said.

the Grim Reaper got off the couch and walked outside to his pussy ass Volkswagen Beetle. Giannis shortly followed as Death attempted to fit him in the car.

"You fucking towering dickwad" Death insulted the basketball player for being tall. Giannis was sad. He felt like killing himself.

Death shoved him in the car and drove off, drunkenly slamming into a police car.

\- 6 hours later -

Death and Giannis woke up in a jail cell.

"Oh shit, we in jail now." Death said.

"I have game negative 4 hours ago" Giannis screamed with his heavy greek accent.

"Shut the fuck up!" A prisoner said.

"I'll fucking rape you" Another one said.

"Hey go fuck yourself pal!"

"You look like Sarah Jessica Parker!"

"Shut the fuck up you look like Peter Griffin. Where's Chris?"

"All of you shut the fuck up mothafuckas i'll kill you all" the Grim Reaper screamed, slamming his cell.

"Hey! Wheres my damn scythe!" He screamed. There was orange clothes over his robe.

"Oh shit, we are the American fucked" Giannis said.

**I don't give a fuck if this is horrible, clearly I don't. Its meant to be some funny satire thing that I wrote while bored and high. Give me something to actually write about. Lol.**


	2. Giannis gets out on bond

**Suggested by: Flagg1993**

**2: Giannis gets out on bond**

"I'm the fucking grim reaper. Fear me!" Death screamed throughout the prison.

"Fuck you, bitch. Suck a dick!" A giant man said, throwing mashed potatoes at him.

"And then I said, Lebron, why shoot, if you can't shoot." Giannis said to a bunch of basketball fans. They all laughed. Clearly Giannis was doing better than Death at the moment.

"Antete… Antenna... GIANNIS! Death! Get over to your cell!"

"What the fuck do YOU want?" Death said to the prison guard.

"You to not crash a beetle into a respected officer of the law. Either way, your bond has been paid. You both are free to go."

"We out this bitch!"

Luna walked up with Sam, smiling because she just got her friends out of jail from her daddy's credit card.

"Luna! You saved us! Lets go smoke some weed!" Death exclaimed, running out of the prison.

"Death, your beetle is in the impound." Luna said. Giannis didn't know what to do.

Death ran up to some bitch in an SUV and kicked the bumper.

"Get the fuck out! I am the grim reaper bitch!"

The lady ran out of the car screaming with her arms flailing.

Things were going swell until..

"Hey look! American bitch brought ugly girlfriend!" Giannis screamed.

A giant engineer looking fuck walked up to the car, breathing so heavy he was creating fog and shit.

"TYRONE ANGRY!" The engineer said.

"We are the American fucked." Giannis muttered before a gangster walked by with another man in his hands.

The man looked like a bitch with a Cheyanne cigar in his mouth. He had a fucked up haircut and sunglasses.

"Die shithead!" The gangster screamed before throwing the innocent and helpless sad fuck to the ground

"Jerimiah!" Tyrone screamed.

"Tyrone!" Jerimiah screamed.

They both walked up to each other slowly, and started slapping at eachother like a high school fight.

After what seemed like hours, the clear winner came on top. Fucking nobody. The dead guy on the street is the winner because he didn't need to bear witness on this shit.

The four headed back to the loud house, for another one of their adventures in their new SUV.

**Like I said, this is satirical shit. I have no ideas. Give me some. Maybe they involve Death and Giannis or maybe they don't, I don't give a fuck. Just give me something to fucking right about. Lol.**


	3. Nobody can see me if I hide here, right?

**_This is where shit gets real._**

**Idea from: Guest**

"It's movie time bitches!" Death said.

"What we see? I hope we see Milo and Otis" Giannis said.

"No way bruh, lets see that new movie with Tara Reid." Luna said.

Death drove his new shitty SUV as fast as it could, seeing as it was stolen from a fucking soccer mom.

"We at the movies now." Giannis said.

* * *

"Hello, Hello, can you hear me? This is an SOS blue, I need support! Please!" A hopeless voice called out from the silence.

Nothing.

Hysteria creeped in one inch at a time, grabbing and clawing the man to gore filled shreds.

"The experiment failed! The objects are real! I can't get out!" the voice screamed, but to no avail.

She was coming.

* * *

The group watched Tara Reid throw up on the screen.

"Tara Reid is American bitch, we should have seen Milo Otis" Giannis screamed.

"Fuck you!" Someone screamed

"The fuck you say to me American faggot"

"ILL FUCKING RAPE YOU" Someone screamed, jumping down his seats to the trio

"Oh fuck! We are the American fucked!" Giannis screamed before he was dogpiled to the ground.

The wind was picking up outside, it was pounding on the walls as a whole bunch of fucking people were violating the trio.

After a while, the trio left the theatre feeling violated and shit.

"We just got American fucked."

"They certainly didn't get you much, did they Death?"

Luna looked at Death, but saw nothing but air. He was gone, but his car wasn't. It started to drizzle as Luna and Giannis began searching for Death.


	4. Escaping is no hope I can't return

Chapter 4 - SOS! Send help! I am still trapped!

* * *

Log date: 9/18

"Things are going well. Dimensional travel seems to be taking a kickstart. Sooner or later, D will be found. I really don't know what to do now. Milwaukee Bucks star Giannis Antetokounmpo has been captured, and we are isolating the fabrics of his mind."

"Turn that damn thing off." A man said, smashing the voice recorder.

The echoing halls of the experiment chamber wailed in the night, despite nothing being there.

"So.. All I really have for reference are two stories. In Flames and Orange Balloons. I am not sure how they will connect but I am sure they will fall in place. One of them has many noticeable errors, and one of them seems to have gathered attention. I have laid out clues for what comes next in both the stories, and hopefully they can be pieced together." Another voice said.

"Go to the lab, you should find experiment Li there." A voice commanded. A swift "Yes Sir" was followed as footsteps echoed through the dark halls to the lab.

The woman looked inside the tube and saw a deceased Lincoln Loud floating in water. She wasn't sure if he was real yet, but the experiments have been going well so far.

A man followed the woman into the lab to check on progress with Lincoln.

"Is the rose back yet?"

"Yes, but reports say that it took the physical manifestation of the spiritual entity, Death."

Just as that was said, the roof started collapsing as hellfire spewed from the ground. This was nothing unusual in the lab. The universe did not want them to mess with the fabric of space and time.

"What are they doing now?"

"It seems the basketball star is interacting with a lesbian couple in very brief and unorthodox ways. It also seems that there is a greater force acting upon ideas that they find. Though, from what I can tell, they misspelled many things. They must still be awakening."

"AHHHHH!" A young voice let out an ear splitting screech, alerting the scientists.

"He's alive!"

"Where am I!? Where's my family!? What's wrong with my hands! Help!" Lincoln Loud screamed.

The woman took an axe and smashed the glass open, turning the water from blue into a bloody red as Lincoln was wounded. Screeches of pain ruptured the halls as Lincoln slowly bled out. His body needed to be intact.

"Contact the gamemaster. Start a new project, The End of Times. A tragedy would surely work. Only problem is this fucker. Whatever to do with him." The woman said. The man nodded and ran off.

* * *

"So.. Where did he go bros?!" Luna said, looking for death.

"He got American fucked." Giannis said, before having a boot thrown at him.

"Whatever lets go smoke some more weed." Sam said.

"Pardon me?" A voice said. Giannis turned around and saw a decently tall dude with blonde hair.

"What the fuck does American teenager want."

"Hi, my name is Colton, and I have no clue how I got here." Colton said, Giannis ignored what he said and immediately noticed a ring on his finger that was glistening silver.

"What's going on with ring?"

"Oh, this thing? A girl named Lucy gave it to me. It was once a super charged ring that belonged to a crime group named Lacrimosa. It belonged to a person named Mary Jane before me, and Lincoln before her."

"Who is Lincoln?" Luna asked.

"I.. Don't really remember." Colton said.


	5. IM HERE

"Imatorbhebhe, can I see you for a second?" A voice called out from inside the facility.

"Speak." Imatorbhebhe growled.

"401 was wrong. In End of Times, they said the dolphins would beat the patriots in September, but it was 2 months late." The voice revealed itself to be a lady. Surrounding the short woman was multiple glass tubes filled with an oozing green liquid, with multiple human beings resting inside of them, unconscious. Except for one.

Lincoln Loud. An animated preteen who somehow gained awareness of the facility. The liquid inside spread out to a thick shade of red, as the dead boy laid afloat in the container.

"I need a status update on Lincoln." Imatorbhebhe said.

"Reports are that he showed up in the world as a teenager named... Colton?" The lady seemed baffled at the results. It definitely wasn't supposed to be that way.

"That doesn't make any sense. His mind is practically crushed inside of the realm. There must be parts of Lincoln that are still alive."

* * *

"So then I said, Kobe, why shoot if you can't shoot" Giannis announced to Lynn Jr.

"You are way better on TV. I can't understand what your saying!" Lynn screamed out.

"Death got American fucked." Giannis said his catchphrase, much to Lynn's dismay.

"Would you shut up!" Lynn said. She went under her bed and grabbed a woman known as "icarly" and started punching her. Giannis started punching her too. Icarly was officially getting fucking decked.

"Brown hair bitch got American fucked like American fuckboy!" Giannis screamed out, throwing an unconscious icarly out of the window.

Meanwhile, Luna and Sam were talking to this Colton person they found.

"So what's your deal." Luna said.

"I think I am like an important character." Colton answered.

"Shit, that sounds lit. Wanna smoke some fucking pot?" Luna said.

Colton paused. A gigantic smile creeped across his face, ear to ear as his head slowly twisted. Almost involuntarily, he meandered to the kitchen in an almost zombie like state.

"I'M ALIVE!" Colton screamed at the top of his lungs, still involuntarily moving towards a kitchen drawer.

"I'm in the chapters! HELP ME!" He continued to scream, but it was like nobody noticed. His shaking hand throbbed as he grabbed a very sharp, stainless steel blade. The cold blade immediately entered his windpipe, as he twisted it as hard as he could, the sheer terror on his face was enough to give it away that he wasn't intentionally doing this. Bloodspill splattered the kitchen as his screams for help turned into slow, gargled gasps for air. He was drowning in his own blood.

Colton immediately fell to the floor, knife still in hand.

"Orange Balloons... In Flames... Connections... 401... Bold text... telling... review." Colton muttered his last words, blood coming out of every hole in his face. The skin on his face started to peel back to reveal a pink muscle tone and bits of a shattered skull.

**I'm literally thinking about giving out money to anyone that can figure this story out. I've been planning a project like this for damn near years. Every single thing written on this account, every single typo, every single mistake, its all connected. Give me more ideas, will ya?**


End file.
